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The reason why we want to fit in

Transformation Life Architects - Tuesday, June 13, 2017
Just recently I had a young man that came to see me because he was feeling very anxious. When we talked about what had set the anxiety attack off he said it was because he did not seem to fit into his group. He saw people that were outgoing and socialised easily and was envious of them.

This happens all the time and can reach proportions where the person becomes traumatised by it.

There are two main reasons why this situation can arise. The first is comparing yourself with others. When you do this, you become dissatisfied with yourself and with what you have. You have no idea of what that person’s life is like. You are just seeing a part of them. Truth be known you probably would not want to have that person’s life.

Focus on your life and what you want instead of focusing on someone else’s life.

The second and probably the most important thing why this young man was anxious about not fitting in comes down programming. A lot of our programming is from many years in the past. When we were cavemen or women if you were being chased by a sabre-toothed tiger your chances of survival were much higher if you were in a group. The tiger may eat someone else rather then you.

This has been passed down and it is still true that your chances of safety and survival are higher if you are in a group. That’s why people hang out together. The problem with the young man was that he had nothing in common with the group he was trying to be part of. Solution is find another group that he has a commonality with.

In summary anxiety can come from not fitting into a group, this in turn can come from programming in the past.

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