Victim verse Protective Anger
We have all been angry! Yes, you have. There are different reasons we get angry, so it makes sense there are different types of anger. But does it make any difference? Anger is just anger, isn’t it? Well, no. Some anger helps us. Other anger is destructive and hurts and can destroy our relationships and lives.
Two examples of Anger:
Protective Anger
Protective anger is a natural defensive reaction to experiences such as injustice, boundary violations, mistreatment, frustration with one’s aims and vulnerability. Mothers are great examples of this type of anger. Imagine a child in danger, the Mum sees what is happening. Stories of inhuman strength in times of crisis are everywhere. The strength, power, courage! It does not matter if it is a dog, cat, lion or human being – if a child is threatened or vulnerable, the parent will move mountains to save it. Vulnerability underlies all these experiences. The more vulnerable we feel, the more we perceive the object of those feelings to be a threat. Protective anger gives one strength, power and certainty. It is clean, healthy anger. Powerful.
Victim Anger
Victim anger is often an overreaction and accusatory. It leads to prejudice and bias towards the object being targeted. This type of anger is seen frequently in a person suffering from a ‘run of bad luck’ who will lash out unexpectedly, blaming others for their problems. People who think they are not getting a ‘fair go’. 
People exhibiting victim anger feel helpless and powerless and generally have a negative attitude toward life. Their anger will appear senseless and inappropriate to others, often coupled with aggressive behaviour.
Other Types of Anger
There are many types of anger. Here are some examples:
- Passive-aggressive anger: This type of anger is avoidant and irritates those around the person.
- Volatile/sudden anger: This type of anger comes from nowhere.
- Deliberate anger: This type of anger is one of the positive ones.
- Behavioural anger: This type of anger is a physical reaction common in men with anger issues.
- Self-abusive anger: This type of anger is directed towards oneself.
- Chronic anger: This type of anger is long-lasting and can negatively affect health.
- Addictive/habitual anger: This type of anger can become addictive and habitual.
- Judgmental anger. Anger directed towards the moral or ethical behaviour of others.
Anger is An Emotion
Anger is just an emotion. We all get angry at some time. And we must know it is safe for us to express anger! Holding in or suppressing our anger is detrimental to our mental well-being. We must ‘let it out’ and express how we feel. But, how we do this is so important.
Using our Anger
Anger is an emotion, it is not good or bad. It is simply a tool to cope with emotionally overwhelming events or happenings. How we ‘handle’ our anger and ‘what’ triggers the outburst is what is essential to control. Getting violent is a waste of energy and doesn’t solve anything. It usually makes matters worse. Sucking up our anger is not the answer either. Staying in control, understanding how to manage emotions, our vulnerability, and powerfully using our anger. That is the secret.
When you get angry, is it protective anger or victim anger? Is it time to become a champion and regain control of your emotions?