I am NOT safe

Fear or Phobia

The past 2 2/1 years have been difficult for many people.   When we continually have events happening that ‘take away’ the control of our daily lives it’s easy to feel as though the world is against us.

Us humans have a tendency to ‘catastrophize’  or to imagine the worst possible outcome of an event or an action.  This happens when we believe a situation we are in is exaggerated to the point where we cannot see any other outcome.   Thoughts multiply in our minds causing our hearts to race, smiles fade to frowns, and we’re left anticipating our biggest fears coming true.   The truth is that our fear or phobia plays a huge role in many of our lives—often with detrimental effects.   They shape who we are, who we become, and what we believe we’re capable of.

As therapists, we have had thousands of clients come to see us with debilitating fear and phobia…

So, if you’re wondering whether you will ever be able to overcome them, I’m here to tell you that you absolutely can.

There’s one key piece of information you need to know first:     You weren’t born afraid!

No one is born with a FEAR or PHOBIA.

No baby is scared that a dog will bite them. Rather, they are more likely to stick their hand in a dog’s mouth or pull on its ears out of curiosity or just because ‘they can.’

The same goes for things that may cause you to squirm such as mice, snakes or cockroaches. As a baby, you wouldn’t have thought twice before putting them in your mouth.   Did you ever make and eat mud pies?   I did.   But, don’t ask me to eat anything with dirt on it now.

Babies are so fearless, that it is a daylong chore for parents to stop their child from trying to ‘feel a candle flame’  or putting a spoon into an electric socket.

The only things babies fear are being dropped and loud noises.  These are our primal fear reactions, downloaded into our DNA from our primitive ancestors. All other fears and phobias are behaviours learnt as we grew up.

So, let’s look back and consider where your fear or phobia came from?

After studying this over many patients and consults, I believe most of our fears started during the first 7 years of our life.   Most, unconsciously.

Ask yourself, “If I wasn’t born with this phobia, where could I have got it?”

What Triggers Your Fear or Phobia?

You may find that you have no idea.  If that is the case, ask your parents how old you were when you developed this fear and what was happening then.  Do not be distressed if you cannot remember any actual events.   Fears often come disguised in small events that happen repeatedly over time.  On their own, they are not distressing, but collectively, the memory of the emotions attached to events are stored in our body and unconscious Mind.  Over time we build a ‘fear’ of (it) being repeated or happening again.

If even after some digging, you still can’t find the answer or feel like you’ve had it all your life, that’s okay. There are powerful ways to work with your mind to overcome this.

Remember…

You weren’t born with fear, therefore it can be resolved!  

First Step to Face Your Fears

To face your fears, you must first acknowledge that you have them.   My suggestion is to work with a professional to do this. Body response to Stress  We offer complimentary 45-minute sessions.  Facing Fear can be difficult to do on your own because, as humans’ we let ourselves off the hook when we try to deal with emotional and psychological issues. However, ‘resolving fear’ will be one of the most life-changing things you achieve.  The most significant emotion felt when a person is fearful is “I am not safe!”   This feeling sets off the Flight fight, freeze response in the body.  Adrenaline pours into our heart, lungs and pancreas as our Mind (endocrine system) pumps out cortisol and other chemicals to get our body ready to take action and defend itself.

Fight Flight Freeze Response

Your stomach cannot digest food, in fact, every organ not required to ‘keep you alive’ in that instance is shut down.  You sweat.  Your heart beats faster, blood pressure rises, and blood flows to your muscles but decreases to your organs.  Your breathing becomes faster and shallower as you consume more oxygen.   You are pumped, and ready for action.   You will fight, run, or if the situation is ‘beyond your mind’s comprehension’ you will freeze!   See the graphic below.   At that moment, time appears to slow down even though things happen in a nano-second.

Overcoming Your Fear

Overcoming your fears will develop the courage to push through in all areas of your life.  This allows you to be mentally prepared whenever something happens that is emotionally concerning. You won’t worry as you will be better equipped to deal with your emotions and physical responses to the fear (or anticipation).

Also, when you face your fears, you’ll cultivate compassion. When you recognize and confront your own weaknesses and fears with love and respect for yourself.  You are more likely to start working with other people in the same way.  These people may be a loved one, employee, boss, or even just a person on the street.

The Richards Trauma Process

TRTP a revolutionary process was designed to resolve stress, trauma and highly emotional events that occurred in childhood and later.   This psychotherapy works on the unconscious triggers to resolve the links and release you from the debilitating triggering of fear.  And especially, the feeling of Not being SAFE.   It is quick, simple and life changing.   Book a complimentary consult or check out the video giving a quick overview of the outcomes of this unique mental health therapy.

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