I recently had a client who was feeling really depressed as his partner had suddenly left him. His biggest problem was that he felt that he was out of control.
People only leave a relationship if their values are not being met. After addressing this issue we moved on to the issue of him being out of control. My client said that it was hard to pin down what this feeling really meant.
The issue here was that his partner had left him. In a previous relationship he had left his partner and felt fine. In this situation he had not made the decision and as a consequence he did not control the breakup. To add fuel to the feeling of being out of control his ego had also taken a pounding.
When we discussed this and he saw that his feeling of being out of control was more due to the fact that he had not initiated the breakup and that his ego was bruised he was able to process the feeling and move on.