Everybody lives their lives according to their top values and the way we live our lives demonstrates our values.
We can have three types of relationships, where we impose our values on the other person (careless relationship) or where we allow someone else to impose their values on us (careful relationship). The third type of relationship is where both parties are acknowledging each other’s values without any imposition.
Not only do we have people trying to impose values but society also tries to impose values. For example you get told that you have to have a big white wedding. The truth is that no you don’t, in most cases it is other people that want you to have a white wedding. You are being constantly bombarded by other people or society’s values.
The biggest problem is that most of us don’t know what our top values are so we allow other people or society to impose values on us. This is not a one way street because we are also trying to impose our values on others.
We impose our values on our children, this works well until our children begin to have their own values and then friction develops. The friction develops because one of the people in the relationship is not supporting the others values. When someone supports your values you think they are great but when someone challenges your values you don’t like them.
Take the time to see how you live life, take the time to see what matters most to you. When you do you will get an idea of what your values are. Better still come and have a session to identify your top values.
When you know your top values you will know why you do what you do.