Living with Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is out of control.  In Australia, one woman every week dies as a result of domestic violence.   This has to stop.

Yesterday I watched an interview with two men who had been physically and mentally violent to their partners. The interviewer asked them why and when were they abusing their partners. Both men said that they became violent when they felt that they were out of control.

Need to Control

Any situation where these men felt that they did not have controlled them to domestic violence. When their partner was not around when needed,  if they felt their partner was doing something that they could not control led to domestic violence. In one extreme case, the woman could not read if her partner couldn’t control what she read.

Relationship Stress

The result of this behaviour is that both parties in the relationship are suffering from stress, depression and anxiety, no wonder!

Looking at the behaviour of these men, begs the question ‘why does being out of control lead to violent behaviour.’  In my experience,  I have found being out of control means (to the person) I am not safe. There will be an unconscious belief that to be safe, I must be in control.  This negative belief/behaviour is usually learnt from what has happened to that person in the past.

I am Not Safe

In fact, if you look at most cases of depression, anger, stress, anxiety, PTSD and domestic violence you will find an underlying behaviour of I am not safe. When a person can be restored to a state that I am safe then there is no longer any reason to restore to physical and mental abuse.

The use of hypnosis can be a very effective tool to help a person realise that they are safe. Hypnosis is a tool to bring quick change to habits and behaviours.  It is very successful in combating depression, anxiety, stress and PTSD.  However, most people associate hypnosis with stage shows after seeing people cluck like a chicken on stage.

Clinical hypnosis is similar but not the same as stage hypnosis.  Showman style hypnotists are very good hypnotists but their focus is on entertainment.  Clinical hypnotherapy is focussed on therapy.  Hypnotherapy can be an extremely effective way of resolving the effects of domestic violence.  It is also useful for reducing and eliminating the cause of the anger, the feelings of ‘I’m not safe’ in the perpetrator.

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to find out more about our Unique Hypnosis therapy – TRTP (The Richards Trauma Process) 


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