Your self-image is the way you view yourself. You might view yourself as a parent, construction worker, friend, blonde, sports fan, intelligent, impatient, and middle-aged. But you’re more than your career, your age group. AND You are way more than simply your gender. Are You seeing Yourself as Yourself? Or. Who is it that imagine You should be? You are a unique person with nuances that are unique to you! When who you are, aligns with what you do, you’re living authentically. But most of us view ourselves in one way and live another. Authentic people act honestly and congruently. When we have any difference – be it physical, mental, gender or psychological, self-esteem becomes harder to achieve without assistance.
Self-Esteem and Respect
The benefits of this congruency are enormous: success, self-esteem, respect from others, and inner peace. For a large portion of our society, this self-esteem and respect ones-self and the ‘feeling of’ respect from others, can be a little more challenging.
June is International Pride Month
As we approached and entered the 21st century, attitudes have become more accepting and inclusive of all genders. After decades of male dominance, female equality gained traction. This has led to the beginning of understanding and acceptance with the normalization of the LGBTQIA+ community by society. However, like it is for everyone, the first step in acceptance starts with everyone being able to see and accept ‘who’ they are as a person – not as viewed via a gender. This is a major challenge for the LGBTQIA+ community and its members. As human beings, our greatest need is to ‘belong and be accepted.’ It drives our decisions, our values, and our choices. Imagine for a moment, the conflict for those trying to come to terms with gender dysphoria. Not knowing ‘how’ to view ourselves but knowing ‘I don’t belong to that group’ creates severe anxiety, and confusion and it can become almost impossible to focus on setting goals, planning a career as first ‘I must figure out who or what I am!’ It all starts with making a decision to be true to yourself and start seeing yourself as yourself – warts and all – but as a person, as the unique human you truly are.
Everyone who lives their life misaligned with their values, beliefs, and attitudes suffers from more anxiety, guilt, and shame. It might seem easier to live up to the expectations of others in the short term, but the long-term costs are significant. This happens when you are not seeing yourself as yourself, but as how you think you should be.
Follow these steps to see your true self and live life on your terms:
Identify your core values.
An authentic self-image is one that is aligned with your values. Who you are, and what drives you, is NOT determined or changed by gender! By knowing your values, you will gain an understanding of what is important to you. Once you’re aware of your values, you can build a self-image and life that is meaningful and enjoyable.
- Make a list of your values. Create a long list and include everything that you think applies to you. Then, reduce your list to the ten values that are most important to you. You might struggle to narrow your list to just ten, but ten values are plenty.
- At Transformations Coaching and Hypnotherapy we specialise in assisting clients to discover their values and how to link these priorities to living their life to the fullest.
- You cannot start seeing yourself as yourself until you know what makes you tick.
Determine if you have any conflicts.
For example, you might say that adventure and freedom are two of your most important values, but what if you also strongly favor responsibility and security? Those values could be in conflict.
- When you’re faced with an inner conflict, you’re likely to shut down and do nothing. If you’ve ever been paralyzed while making a decision, it’s possible your values were in conflict. Think back to when you’ve struggled to decide and see if it’s true.
- Do you have any values listed that aren’t really priorities for you? We often carry around perspectives instilled by our parents. Here’s a newsflash: they may have been wrong. Take the time to determine your values for yourself. Disregard what society says you should value. You’re an individual. Start seeing Yourself as Yourself.
- Procrastination is a sign of a values conflict. We always find the time and money to do the things we love. If you have trouble trying to find the time or to focus on a job or project, ask yourself ‘is what I am doing aligned with my top 3 values?’ or “how, by completing this task, will I be closer to achieving my top value? When you cannot see the value in any task – when you hear yourself say: I must; should; need to; have to: you are trying to motivate yourself to do something that is aligned with the values of another person, not you.
Create an action plan for each value.
- Imagine one of your values is frugality. You could create a budget and savings plan that incorporates that value. You might plan to start clipping coupons, visit less expensive stores, and search for free entertainment options available on the weekends.
- Make a list of activities you enjoy that are in alignment with your values. For example, if generosity is a priority, you could find an enjoyable way to spend your time helping others. If health is a value you cherish, you could join a soccer team or a yoga class. Find your favourite sport and participate.
Evaluate yourself at the end of each day.
- Think about the instances when you failed to live according to your values. Likewise, contemplate the times you were able to live according to your values and self-image, particularly when doing so was challenging.
- Value-Driven Focus is Easy. Think about tasks you have achieved that just flowed. Everything was easy. Even the challenges seemed to dissolve as you found solutions. When You are in flow, it’s not work, it’s fun. That is working aligned with values. When a job is like walking through treacle ask yourself ‘Who am I doing this for? Is it me or someone else?’
Seeing Yourself as Yourself
Create a self-image that is in alignment with your values. First, it is necessary to identify and choose your values. Next, construct a life that allows you to live those values consistently and to thrive. Authenticity eliminates many of the common emotional ailments in life, but it’s not always the easiest choice. Be bold enough to choose the person you want to become and live accordingly. The benefits are enormous. What are your values? Book a Consultation to find out What drives you and your decisions.